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Voyager - the MagellanMusic Newsletter - Fall 2008 |
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01/21/09 10:21:09 |
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Voyager The MagellanMusic Newsletter Fall 2008 SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: All of us here at Voyager are happy to share a bit of good news, but there’s a little bad news too. One is the slight misfortune of announcing that the planned release of MagellanMusic’s brand new CD, “Whispers”, has been postponed. It was to be released in time for Christmas, but we are told that technical problems at their studio needed more time for repairs than expected. They didn’t share details of what the problems were, probably too complicated to explain. However, the good news is that MagellanMusic are happier because this long awaited album is more appropriate for a summer release. We have now learned that “Whispers” will be an unexpected surprise – it will feature a wide array of songs that are acoustic format only! Plus, the ‘setting’ is live, an outdoor atmosphere of them around a campfire by a lake, the rich sounds of nature included. This sounds perfect for a summer release. “Whispers” is said to feature possibly 16 songs, collectively covering various styles, some that even go back to the days when MagellanMusic was called ‘progressive acoustic’ in the late 1970’s. No specific song titles were mentioned. We find this a very exciting venture that we anxiously look forward to! Release is planned for late May or June. Additional good news is the strong rumor that a re-mastered version of “Yesterday’s Children” is in the works. Our source tells us that sound quality is to be improved, that certain songs will be replaced (which is rare for re-mastered CD’s), as well as edits on certain songs, that “Away From All As In” may be an addition, and there could be a change in the running order of songs. We find this a very nice surprise! All in all, a re-mastered version of “Yesterday’s Children” sounds very exciting, and we will inform you as soon as we know. Most surprising, MagellanMusic tells us that those who got the original version of “Yesterday’s Children” will be given copies of the new release free of charge. Drummer Ellis Dee commented, “It was worth improving for the sake of music quality, not just another sale. All of us find that very uncouth, and a good way to thank our fans for enjoying MagellanMusic so much.” We find this a remarkable gesture of thanks, an unheard-of effort by any artist. So if you don’t have “Yesterday’s Children” we recommend you wait until the re-mastered version is available. NEWSFLASH: Manmeat on the menu during Gayjing Phagolympics From Associated PenisNews November 11, 2008 6:38 AM EDT SAN PHAGCISCO - Male cuisine will be served during the Gayjing Phagolympic Games. It has just been announced that Phreddy ‘the PhasterMasterBaiter’ Wheeler will be opening “Phreddy’s Dickbar & Grill” just prior to the Phagolympics. Phreddy is the founder, CEO, and Chairman of the Oklahomoid Society. He says the Dickbar will feature hot studs the world-over for all **** **** maggots who yearn for exquisite penile erectii. It is also reported that Phreddy will present artists such as Enis the Penis, KC & the Sunshine Phags, Barry Phagilow, the Village Phaggots, Olivia Newton-Phag, the Partridge Phag Phamily, and Helen Phreddy for nightly entertainment. Rumors that Phreddy will feature gala performances of the adapted Shakespeare play, “Homeo & Julio”, have not been confirmed. Medical personnel will also be available for any phag who suffers Dickbite. Surprising news from Vladimir Zsoerbin is a new album by The Pterodactyl Club, hopefully to be released by Spring. It will be called “You Dirty, No Good, Rotten, Wretched, Lousy, Nasty, Filthy, Slimy, Creepy, Scummy, Worthless, Vile, Disgusting Bastads – I Hate You – I Hate Your GUTS !!!” It is to be a satirically cynical and cynically satirical look at the country music scene (which country wasn’t specified). Vlad told us, “I just don’t like smelly guys who wear cowboy hats, cowboy boots, John Deere belt buckles, have Red Man chew in their back pockets, answer to the name ‘Billy Bob’, and their favorite Saturday Night pastime is ‘scoring chicks’.” Here are some songs that might be included: 1. If Your Phone Don’t Ring You’ll Know It’s Me 2. I Wrote You A Goodbye Letter But Couldn’t Spell Schidtte 3. When I Was In A Cow Pasture I Stepped In A Pile of You 4. If You Don’t Leave Me Alone I’ll Find Somebody Who Will 5. May The Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your **** 6. She Opens Her Gates of Love (For Cash or Credit) 7. You Must Feel Like Hell This Morning Cuz You Sure Look It 8. The Day I Married You Wuz The Day I Died And Went To Hell 9. My Wife Is This Month’s Pin-up In Mega-**** Monthly 10. It Ain’t Good When My Friend Says You’re Lousy In Bed 11. I Love You (But I’ve Been A Liar All My Life) 12. She Broke My Heart, I Broke Her Jaw 13. How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Leave? 14. Here’s a Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares) 15. I Want A Bottle In Front of Me, Not A Frontal Lobotomy 16. On Friday You Make Me Sick (Every Other Day You Make Me Sicker) 17. She Put A Bar In My Car So I Could Drive Myself To Drink 18. Hitler and My Wife Were Twin Sisters 19. I Can’t Have My Kate and Edith Too 20. Let’s Pretend You’re Joan of Arc At The Bonfire Tonight 21. I Don’t Have Nightmares When I Sleep (I Have Them When I Wake Up To You) 22. Watchin’ The Boys Go Bi 23. When I’m Downwind I Know Your Mama’s Comin’ 24. She Can’t Bleed Yet (But She’ll Make A Fine Wife) 25. Oh Darlin’, You’re Face Looks Like a Roadmap With Lipstick 26. My Best Friend is Jack (Daniels) 27. She Takes A Hormone and I Hear a **** Moan 28. I Shor Cain’t Tell the Differnce ‘Tween George Bush and a Horses **** 29. We Don’t Have Sex No More (So Why Are You Pregnant?) 30. You’ve Only Been Gone Seven Days (But It Already Feels Like A Week) 31. Hand Me That Pool Cue Then Call An Ambulance 32. Don’t Go To The Zoo, Honey (They’ll Think You Escaped) 33. Go **** Up A Tree 34. I Don’t Know Who Sucks Better (You Or A Hoover) 35. Your Checking Account Is As Empty As Your Brain 36. D.I.V.O.R.C.E. 37. I Love My Dog, I Hate Your Guts 38. If Your Mouth Was As Big As Your **** You Could Swallow A Truck 39. Sounds From My Butt Match Your Wit 40. Compared To My In-Laws, the Hatfield’s & McCoy’s Were Pussies When Vlad announces release date for this new CD we will inform you immediately. NEWSFLASH: It’s been reported that Pink Floyd may be releasing their final album and publicly announcing retirement except for solo albums. The Voyager staff has been inquiring whether this rumor is true. We have been told it’s to be a magnum opus of all-new material called “A Piper at the Gates of Dawn in A Saucerful of Secrets with More Ummagumma can explain why Atom Heart Mother’s Meddle is Obscured By Clouds on the Dark Side of the Moon while we Wish You Were Here with Animals by the Wall which is always A Momentary Lapse of Reason when ringing the Division Bell”. As soon as we know more we will announce it right away! For something new, the next several issues of Voyager would like to feature a segment called “Suggested Listening”. In recent years various members of our staff have discovered several artists and/or album titles that are exceptionally good, but have received little or no attention in the music press. Since this is a well-known and notorious habit of the music industry, we would like to at least show our appreciation for their efforts by mention in our humble fanzine. First is “The Geese & the Ghost” by Anthony Phillips. Genesis fans are aware that he was their founding member and guitarist who established a distinct mark on their sound, but he left the band for personal reasons after the release of “Trespass” in 1970. Very little was heard from him until 1977 with the surprise release of “The Geese & the Ghost”. There was some brief collaboration with Genesis pals Michael Rutherford and Phil Collins, but it was unmistakably a Phillips effort. Everyone was instantly struck by his style of play, the sometimes complicated chord structuring, but most of all was renaissance-era effect the album has. One can feel the remarkable imagery of the age of chivalry, the dramas of a mythic English kingdom, the pastoral beauty of a wandering minstrel. It’s mostly acoustic, a rather ‘quiet’ album, but the mood is terrific. Phillips’ later albums wouldn’t really compare to the strengths of this one, so for potential fans, “The Geese & the Ghost” is a real winner. And on the whim of renaissance-era music, second is a little known band called “Gryphon”. They were a British group who finally achieved some popularity in America by touring with YES in 1974, and for adventurous listeners it was a pure delight. Their sound was unmistakably that of the Old England renaissance; the first album so close to the real thing that I thought it had been caught in a time warp, actually recorded in 1509. Each successive album progressed rapidly, to the point where they were classified away from Brit Folk to real ‘Prog Rock’. But after five albums they felt that they had gone as far as they could and broke up amicably in 1977. If very original Prog entices your imagination, then Gryphon is for you. NEWSFLASH: It’s been reported that the Society for Half-assed Idiots Terrifyingly Stupid (S.H.I.T.S.) are aggressively opposed to a contest that will choose how George Bush is to be re-paid for his heresy while in office. The choices will be as follows: 1. Hanging 2. Poisoning 3. Shooting 4. Beheading 5. Burning 6. Beating 7. Stabbing 8. Starving 9. Stoning 10. Slow Torture 11. Leprosy 12. Skydiving without a parachute 13. Cashier at 7-11 in South Philly 14. Homeless In East St. Louis 15. Unarmed Soldier in Iraq Please vote your choice by going to www.BushSucks.gag. When all votes are in Voyager will announce the winning choice. And as soon as George is out of office we will implement punishment right away (if we manage to keep attendance below 6,752,341). That is all for now. Don’t forget to visit our website at www.MagellanMusic.com for all the idiocy you can handle. And remember that you can get MagellanMusic titles from CD Baby at www.cdbaby.com/all/magellanmusic, who now feature downloading the entire album. And if you care for fun collectibles please go to www.cafepress.com/magellanmusic. Most of all, remember that the word for the rest of our lives is PEACE! |
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